Image from Lucy's album
We want, need that person to be perfect and
we are jolted, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, psychologically, when we
discover something about that person that does not sit right with what we have
understood to be their message, their thesis, their philosophy, their spirituality.
We are jolted, disappointed and
discouraged, yet again. We have so
wanted to believe that s/he was the true one, the one whom we could finally trust,
who had all the answers to all the difficult questions in life.
But then we discover some little quirk in
their character, some flaw in their thinking perhaps, some indiscretion in
their personal lives, some action or practice that they perform that seems to
contradict their philosophy. Well, it
certainly seems to contradict our perception of their philosophy.
And we feel let down, yet again. It reinforces our belief that the world cannot
be trusted. That the world is inherently
untrustworthy. That we are, as we had
judiciously suspected all along, random beings expected to make our own random
way through this hostile cosmic ocean of biased probabilities, biased against
our wellbeing.
We are, after all, not meant to live freely
and joyously. Haven’t we noticed that
the world has been trying to tell us this all along?
I mean, just look around you and you will
see so much suffering. Just about every
other person you meet has or knows someone with cancer. Or diabetes or heart disease or Alzheimer’s
or Parkinson’s. Or a fatal
accident. Or the destitution in Somalia
or the corruption in Libya or the terrorism in Afghanistan or…
Take your pick. It isn’t hard to find something that smacks
of suffering. It’s right on the doorstep
of your conscious mind swirling in the vast space of your subconscious
mind.
This leaves you lost, abandoned, yet
again. It was foolish of you to have
hoped for that perfect being. It was
foolish of you to have trusted. It was
foolish of you to have let yourself believe all the things s/he said.
Yes, it all sounded so right, so good. It struck a very deep and personal chord in
your heart which rang truth. How could
you have been so wrong? So misguided? So easily led and deceived? So certain?
You’re no fool. You’re more than intelligent. Heck, you’re even considered wise by many. How the hell did this happen? How did you allow it?
This has taught you not to trust
anyone. Anyone.
But if you feel that there is someone you
can trust, then for god’s sake, trust them but don’t rely on them.
That’s right. There is a difference between trusting and
relying. Sure, go ahead, believe what
they say. After all, it feels good,
doesn’t it? But don’t, for god’s sake,
rely on them.
They’ve got their own lives to live. They may not be able to rush out and haul you
in when you’re drowning. That’s just how
things are. That’s life. It’s not their fault. They were perfect, up to a point.
So what do you do? You learn to rely on your Self. That Self that underlies you/her/him, your perceptions of yourself and
of her/him. You become acquainted with
that Self. After all, wasn’t that what
s/he was helping you do?
So carry on the work. That’s something that you’ve not lost. It’s always there. It’s always been there and always will
be.
And realize that that Self has always been
calling you to itself, through him, through her, through you, through
everything that you experience.
Don’t expect words of consolation from
me. I have few enough for myself. Find your own.
Better yet, don’t need to be consoled. Give up that need. In its place, think freedom. You’re free to think a new thought, a new
desire, a new expectation, a new dream.
Better yet, don’t think. Just move in the flow. It’ll take you to unknown places.
Wouldn’t that be amazing? To be free of the known and free to enjoy the
unknown?
