Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I am afraid

You come to me expectantly, looking into my eyes, perhaps a little disappointed that I have not already responded to your desire. I look softly into your eyes as my hand carresses your body. I watch you melt, soften into a love mush. My sweet love, how shall I adore you more than I already do?

I am afraid. I feel I am running out of time, that there is so much that I need to sort out, things that I have been putting off for so long. I watch my dog scratch herself. She never seems to stop. She has no fleas and no visible signs of skin irritations, yet she scratches unceasingly. Well, she stops when we have a visitor or when she is eating or has something else to occupy her. Is she bored? Is she anxious? Is she irritated?

I have heard that animals take on the suffering of their owners. What suffering of mine might she have taken on? What irritants in my life is she relieving me off? Will I not have to deal with them if I am to rid her of her incessant scratching?

My darling, my sweet bliss, my spark of eternity! How you endear me to yourself! You have no idea, not an inkling. Your tears turn into vapour with the heat from my skin. You are profound joy of which I drink feverishly. Let me surround you with tenderness. Let me kiss away your tears. Let me fall in love with you.

Will it take away all my irritants? Will it settle all my unfinished matters? Oh how I wish it would!

Hold me close. Do not be afraid. My love overcomes all. Give it time. Give us time. Together we will tackle every matter.

I am scared.

Oh my sweet love, let me hold you till your fears melt in my embrace.

Help me. Please.

My precious one. Rest now.

I cannot. I do not want to. There is unfinished business.

The only unfinished business is you, for you will never end, never cease to be. Long after time runs out, you will continue to be and I shall be with you eternally.

Now rest, my darling. Leave all your cares with me, every single one.

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