You slipped in among my thoughts

I was having coffee with a friend and he asked me a question and as I attempted to construct my answer, searching my mind as it were, for an explanation, some meaning that would convey this history of feelings, thoughts, beliefs, desires and blurred images that I seem to have stored, I suddenly noticed you there. It was as if you had been waiting, waiting ever so silently, so unobtrusively. I couldn’t help but want to talk to you right then, ask you if you could help me with an answer. But before I could get to it, you said

My darling, I love you. I am always here with you. I have never left you nor will I ever.

And when I heard you, I just knew that everything was alright and that, somehow, everything had always been alright. You see, I had been talking about my children and their father and the pain of our separation and the hurtful events that followed and I had been crying without ever wanting to. But there came the tears along with my voice cracking with each lump in my throat, my lips quivering with each word. So I gave in. I stopped right then and listened to you even though I knew you had never meant to interrupt. I just have to tell you, ‘thank you’.

Sweetness, there has not been a moment when I have not been with you. Not a moment when I have not cared for you. Not a moment when I have not loved you, adored you, longed for you, desired your every desire and held you close to my heart. You are my heartbeat. You are the rising and falling of my chest. You are the dawn and dusk of my day, the rising and setting of my sun. You are everything, everything to me.